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S19E05: 99% Of The Population Will Understand What I'm Saying

Zara comes face to face with Sam's ex. Miles and his new love interest are growing closer - but are they on the same page? Jamie admits he isn't feeling himself.

Genres:

Air Date:

Apr 20, 2020

Runtime:

60 minutes

Casts:

Made in Chelsea

Ad Victorem Spolias – To The Victor Go The Spoils

Quick, Let's Have A Quickie

I'm So Honest With Everyone, Maybe It's A Downfall

Do I Look Like Jesus?

Take Your Passion, Make It Happen

Problems Not Solutions, That's The Way I Live My Life

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When I Was Younger I Experimented With Clingfilm

Babe, You're Attituding At Me

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Je Suis Amoreuse De Toi

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Christmas Special

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What's Mine Is Mine and What's Yours We Share

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Until The Book's Closed It's Open

Karma's A Bitch

Everyone Has Skeletons In Their Closet

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At The End Of The Day, I've Got The Crazy Title. No One Can Steal That From Me

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If You Want To Crack On And Go Head To Head... You'll F****** Lose

The More You Can't Have Someone... You Want Them More

No One You Want At A Party Is Going To Turn Up To A Themed Party, Unless It's Versailles

I Could Fall In Love With You So Easily...

A Man At 23 Is A Bit Like A Girl At 15

They're Wriggly Little Buggers

I Think You've Got The Costume Wrong Tonight Because It's Not Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

I'd Rather Die Than Be Friends With Her

If I Wanted To Sleep With Other Girls, I Could

I Used To Charge Younger Boys For Bunny Cuddles

I Didn't Know Reindeers Actually Existed. I Thought They Were, Like, A Mythical Creature

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I Made A Mistake That I Wanted To Cover Up

I Am Not A Robot

Of Course I'm Going To Say I'm Straight

He Is Being A Tit

Kill Jamie, Marry Andy, Kiss Spencer

I Wouldn't Want My Daughter Going Out With Spencer Matthews

Is He A Fantastic Lay?

See You Later, Spenny

It's Very Rare To Find Someone Who Hasn't F*cked One Of Your Friends

Hot Tubs Are Like My Nemesis

She's Becoming Spencer

End of Season Party

I'd Have Sex With Any Of My Exes

Your Friends Are All Pretty Rude

If You Are Going To Play Two Girls, It's Best To Play Two Who Don't Know Each Other

I Once Knew Someone Who Had A Sleeping Bag

Your Buds Are Way More Important Than Any Girl

Willies Aren't Such A Big Thing, We All Know That

You Need to Get Under Someone to Get Over Someone

Let's Go For A Drink, Maybe Some Fondling

Fancy A Bit Of African Holiday Sex?

If You Knew Everything I'd Be In Deep Deep Trouble

Miracles Happen At Christmas

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There's Gonna Be A Storm

Doesn't Everyone Have Secrets?

People Think I Look Like Karl Lagerfeld

There's Difference Between Bro Code And Being-A-D*ck Code

If Your D*ck's Working, Your Head's Working

I Want To Be In Everyone's Breast Pocket, Caressing Half Of London's Nipples

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I Was Sucked Into A World I Didn't Know

You're Like A Fat Tom Daley

When Are We Getting Married?

I Tried So Bad, I Even Got Naked

What Happens In New York, Doesn't Stay In New York

You Snooze, You Lose

Prudders Is A Beast

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Welcome To My Playpen

Someone Needs To Watch The Sheep When The Shepherd's Away

It's Like Looking At Bambi Before She Gets Shot

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They Were Literally Just Force Feeding Us Relationship Foie Gras

Oh My God, Tonsil Tennis Galore

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I Find It Impossible Not To Think About The Terracotta

The Last Time I Saw Him I Was Naked In A Forest

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He Lives And Breathes Vagina

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You Don't Get Anywhere In Life Without Visualising The End Goal

We Were Like Two Peas In A Pod, And Now I'm Just One Pea

I Feel Like I've Been Put In A Naughty Corner

I'm All Over The Place Right Now, Emotionally And Florally

There's A Jamie Shaped Hole In My Life

He’s Making An Armageddon Of Mistakes

End of Season Party

I Used To Snog Girls In The Towel Cupboard... Naked

Everyone Dates Everyone... That's Just What We Do

My Mum Likes Getting Her Boobs Out When She's Drunk, It's Fine

It's So Hard Talking To Someone Whose Face Doesn't Move

Why Am I Keeping All Your Secrets?

You Need To Find Someone Who Is Weird, Who You Can Be Weird With

I Was Considering Nipple Tassles

Go Get The Girl

Once A Cheat, Always A Cheat

One Normally Has A Different Tea Service For Every Room

Marry The Idiot

I Genuinely Believe He Thinks He's In A Disney Film

Every Time Francis Paints A Girl’s Heart Is Broken

You Have Got Naughty Little Thing Written All Over Your Face

Kanye West, What Is That?

Well You Haven’t Seen My Giant Silver Ostrich

I Don’t Care About Quinoa

Get Off Your High Horse

I’m Wearing His Boxers Today And They’re Enormous

My Libido Is Going Bang Right Now

I’m On A Bratwurst Hunt

You Didn’t Put Any Breathing Holes In Here

Christmas Party

It’s The Next Chapter

You Just Crave Sex and Carbs

Fred, You Have A Girlfriend You Moron

Homewrecker, One O’Clock

It Looks Like You Are Obsessed With Me

He Said They Didn’t Kiss, He Said They Fondled

If I Could Punch You In The Face I Would

Marriage Is Inevitable

Mate, I Got Myself In A Little Bit Of A Situation

I’m Not This Good A Liar

This Is Not A Baby Shower, This Is A Fricking Carnival

End of Season Party

I Don’t Like Vegans, I Don’t Like Feminists And I Don’t Like People Who Are Gluten Free

It’s Just Difficult To Tell Your Friends What’s Going On

Our Future Is Doomed

The Boy Learnt To Walk In Loaffers, He Will Probably Die Wearing His Loaffers

I Don’t Think You Can Have A Proper Relationship Until You’ve Had Your Heart Broken

Aluminium Is Not Really My Style

We Don’t Need To Go Down Memory Lane Dude

I Won’t Have A Buffet Until I’m Dead

Two Can Play At That Game

I’m More Domesticated Than A Cat

Who Do You Think Deserves A Good Whipping This Year?

Christmas Ding Dong

I Wanna Know Who She Is And Where She’s Come From

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I’m Tortoise Sitting For My Neighbour

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Don’t Look At Me When You’re Taking Your Pants Off Please

He Needs A Taste Of His Own Medicine

I Literally Just Tried To Talk Dirty In Latin

No One Wants To Shag Just A Personality

It Is Baller To Be Bad In Bed

Darling, Sabotage Is Such An Ugly Word

End of Season Party

If That’s A Slapped A* Then Slap Me Now

I Hate When My Human Side Comes Out

I Love It When You Get Deep And Dirty

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I Shan’t Be Climbed

You’re A Beggy Little Bitch

Some Would Say That I’m The King Of A Gesture

I’m Going To Redeem Myself And Make Sure Everyone Loves Me

You And I Have Gone Down A Very Dark Track

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I Think The Best Thing About Christmas Is Once It’s All Over

Big Christmas Quiz

We Do Complicated, Don't We?

You Showed My Friend’s Mum Your Testicle

She's Like A Little Slippery Eel

I Was Like The Funny Nice Douche, He’s Just A Douche

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She’s A Very Odd Bird

Can We Have Another Sexual Revolution Please?

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Sometimes When You’re Drunk, The Truth Does Come Out

Maybe Suck On A Sweet While I Tell You This

I’m Gonna Meghan Markle Myself

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As Far As The Wrongest Thing You’ve Ever Done, This Ain’t That Bad

Victoria, I Will Never Die

Right, I’ve Got A Little Bit Of A Situation

This Is Something That Chelsea Lacks – Common Decency!

I’m The Opposite Of A Narcissist

Who Brought Maeva?

I Don’t Know How Many More Nails We Can Put In The Coffin

He Must Be Great In The Sack

He Needs To Go To Better Lad School

Let’s Break Some Bread

If Anyone Could Ride A Lion It’s Tristan

The Dudelsack Is Out!

I Wish I Was A Narcissist

I Have A Girlfriend... On Paper

Let's Get Married

End of Yah Quiz

I Need My Binky Back

I Like Playing In The Danger Zone

I Don't Care If It's My Battle Or Not

If You're Secure In Your Relationship, It Shouldn't Be An Issue

99% Of The Population Will Understand What I'm Saying

She Doesn't Trust Him To Be Around Me

3AM is Prime Time Booty Call

You're Leaving A Couple Of Vipers For Another Couple Of Vipers

With Great Rig Comes Great Responsibility

I Did Something Really Bad

You're My Friend, But I Also Quite Wanna Kiss You

Once The Sex Is Gone, The Relationship Is Gone

I Can Get Hard If You Need Me To, Clive

You Get Angry At Your Own Voice

She Just Got A Bit Over Familiar

Ctrl + Alt + Delete Habbs

It's Just...Lighting The Match

Stop Spitting On My Mink!

Julius Is Nursing A Semi

I Don't Play Hard To Get

I've Had More Comfortable Gynaecological Appointments

The Thing With You Maeva Is You're Just Slightly Misunderstood

I'm Coming From A Good Place...For Once

We've Just Had A Nice Friendly Jacuzzi... What's Up With That?

I'm Moody, If You're Broody

Hurry Up And Break Up With Your Boyfriend

I Will Skateboard On Your Head

Prince Charmings Will Come And Go...But I'll Always Be Here

Did You Miss Me a Little Bit?

You're Literally Pouring Gasoline on the Fire

I Think You're Dismissed Now

Trust is Built in Droplets and Lost in Buckets

I Want a Man Who Buys Me Diamonds, Not Silver

My Heart Was Made Into Beef Carpaccio

If They Get Married I Will Eat My Own Scrotum

This is a Very Big Red Flag in Front of a Very Scary Bull

I’m Sorry for Having a Moment of Weakness

Christmas: I Didn’t Realise How Well Endowed You Were

She's Like a Snake in Sheep's Clothing

Fashion Is Repulsive

The Truth Always Comes Out

I'll Literally Regret It Forever

Let's Give It Another Go

Is There No Decorum Anymore?

Silence Speaks Volumes

This Is His Worst Nightmare

Why Be Kind When You Can Be a Bitch?

Miles is My Little Protégé

She’s Burnt More Bridges Than There Are in London

You Are the Bane of My Life and the Love of My Life

I’ve Never Felt More Single In My Life

I Want You to be Happy In a ‘More Is More’ Way

In England We Play Happy Families

I’ve Heard Quieter Chihuahuas

If Lily's Tongue Wasn't Down Billy's Throat It Was Up Harvey's Arse

I'm Living In His Head Rent Free

It Was Cringy, It Was Creepy and I Did It

I Can't Argue With Stupid

Rosé and Emotions Got the Better of Me

The Only Pain I Want in My Life is Champagne

Don't Get Dickmatized By This Man

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